J

I haven't seen J for such a long time. I miss his funny face. He is G's friend really but I like him very much. We used to have fun together. I have other friends so I'm not alone but J was special. It would be nice to see him again.

Gardening

I’ve been working in the garden. With Mummy and Daddy. Daddy cut the lawn with the big scary lawn mower. I stayed out of the way. I didn’t want to be gobbled up.

I helped Mummy with the weeding. I had my fork with a duck’s head. And my spade with a duck’s head. I dug a bit but that got boring. I watched mummy. She was pulling grass out of the flower bed. I pulled a weed out. It was too colourful to be in the garden and had too many petals. And it smelt perfumey. I got quite a few out before Mummy noticed. “Oh no Anna” she said “those aren’t weeds” I didn’t like to say anything but I know a weed when I see one. Take Ben at school.

She said “maybe stop weeding for a while, Anna, and do a bit more digging”. Fine by me. I started digging again. I dug down deep under one of those weed things. “No don’t dig the flowers out” she said. There’s really no pleasing Mummy some days. She must be short of sleep.

I wandered off. Mummy can dig by herself I thought. Daddy was still cutting the grass. He had made a great pile of grass in one corner of the garden. I decided to help him. The grass needs to go in a green bin. It gets taken away by a big van early in the morning. I couldn’t see the green bin. But there are lots of bins in the house. I started to take the grass in the house. A fistful at a time. Some escaped but not much. I started with the bin in the sitting room as it was nice and close. Then I remembered there was a bin in Mummy’s bedroom. That was a bit of a long journey. It was hard to find and there wasn’t much grass to put in when I finally got there. But after a few journeys, there was quite a bit in it. It was easy to find now as there was a little trail of grass leading to it.

Then I had a thought. The grass would go off if I just put it in a bin. It would be much better in the fridge. And I can open the fridge if I really try. I did try hard and got the fridge open. I put quite a bit on the bottom shelf and even managed to put some in with the rice out of the way.

I decided to water some plants. The watering can was very heavy. I could hardly lift it. I dragged it to Mummy's favourite flower. I pushed the can. It fell over. The water poured out. Some went on me. Some went near the flower. I think the flower got some water but I couldn't be sure as the flower was hidden under the can.

I looked around. Mummy was still weeding. Daddy was still cutting. I was pleased I’d been such a help. I sat down in my chair and watched my co-workers. I dried off in the sun. I am sure they will be very pleased when they see what work I did.

Waving

I like to wave. I wave at people I don’t know. People you don’t know are only friends you haven’t met.

I wave at buses. Especially in traffic jams. There is often a bus parked next to me. I look through the window. Normally someone sees me. I smile. Then I wave. They wave back. Others look. They smile and raise their hands. Soon a Mexican wave of waves spreads through the bus. My best is 6 wavers but I am working on it. It’s sad when the traffic moves. Sometimes we haven’t finished waving.

The Queen waves. But not like me. Her wave is a gentle sweep of the hand. I hold my hand up and open and close my fingers. I use my right hand. It is my waving hand. It’s also my pointing finger hand. And I use it for back patting and seat patting. It’s a busy hand. My left hand has another job. It has my special friend. The thumb that helps me sleep and calms me when bad things happen.

I can multi-task. I can wave and walk. On a good day I can look back, wave and walk. I say “Bye bye” as well. I walk away, look back and wave. Then I look forward. My right hand keeps waving. After I while I look back. If the person’s gone, I keep waving a little bit more just in case they come back for more. You can’t have enough of a good wave.

Back

I'm back. I suppose you think I've been away spending the money that nice man offered me. Or helping Obarmy winning the big country. Well I haven't. I've just been waiting for Little J to grow up a bit. He's now walking, crawling and at last he's dancing. So it's time to blog again.

Shopping

Tescos here I come. Another day, another shopping trip. I love going shopping with M. M loves to take me.

I knew she was going. I heard her ask D if he could look after me. He couldn’t. He rushed to his computer and said he was doing some urgent work. Sometimes I think she doesn’t want to take me but that can’t be right. I am a very useful shopper.

So M and I went off to the big shop. What fun.

I saw the security man as I went in. I’ve met him before. And the ladies at the customer services desk. And even the manager. I know them all. I think of them as friends.

I waved at the security man. He gave me a little wave back. He looked nervous. Maybe he was having a bad day. Too many burgers stealing the sausages.

M put me in the trolley. In the seat. If you can call it that. These seats are not made for toddlers. They are too hard and there is no padding. If they were comfy, I might have had a snooze. But they are not and I didn’t. There is no way toddlers are going to sleep in those seats. And what are we meant to do? There is no TV or book or crayoning set. Nothing. All I can do is stare at M's tummy or help M shop.

I saw a shop assistant. I haven’t seen her before. I smile at her. She smiles back.

I stay in the seat for the first aisle. It is a bit dull. I cruise past nappies, toothpaste and stuff like that.

Then we start the real shopping. Shelves with jars, bottles and bags. Lots of great shapes and colours. And most are just within reach.

I pick the high things off the shelf and put them in the trolley. I don’t need M to tell me what to pick. I know what we need. M sometimes picks things out of the trolley and puts them back. She forgets what we need.

I get bored in the seat. I climb out. I walk by the trolley. I can see things better. I look for green things. M is very keen on green things. I can usually find three or four before M notices.

I spot something in the row next door. I rush off. I grab the pack and head back for the trolley. But the trolley has gone walkabout. Never mind. I spot another pack on the row next door. It is better than the first so I put the first one back on a shelf. It stands out a bit.

I wonder where M is but not for long. There’s lots for me to do. I pick another bag. And one more. I could do with the trolley. I put one bag on the floor. And another quite close. And one a bit further away. Then I spot another bag and head for it. I take it from the shelf. It is hard work shopping. I decide to have a rest. There is a step across the aisle. I wander over. It has things on it. But not for long. I push them off and sit down. Amongst the boxes and bags of tea.

The nice assistant spots me. She comes over, picks me up and takes me on a trolley hunt. We find it with M attached. M looks worried. The shopping can’t have been going well. At least I am back to help.

M put me back in the seat. I check the trolley. To see what we’ve bought. There are somethings we don’t want. It’s a challenge to reach them but I manage it. I would place them on the shelves but I can’t reach. So I drop them. Some people shop till they drop. I shop to drop.

Our trolley steers round my bags. I would have picked them up but you don’t really want bags when they have been on the floor. I look over at the tea section. There are boxes all over the place. Tescos should keep their shop tidier.

I add some extras to the trolley. A nice surprise for M at the check out. I remember the little things she’s forgotten. I would remember the big things but they are too heavy.

M accelerates past the sweets. She can’t have seen them. I shout and then a scream. She stops, recognises her mistake and we go back for a few packets. We head off. I grab a few more.

I spot the crisps. Another shout and scream and the crisps are in the back ready to go.

We head for the till. “I can’t cope anymore” M says. I don’t know what she means.

I wait while M unloads the trolley at the till. She’s busy so I have to entertain myself. I wander off looking for those last minute items which make the difference between an average shop and a really good shop. I find an orange. But I drop it and it runs away. I give chase. It rolls near the stack of beans. I go to get it and nudge the beans. I look at the beans. The beans look at me. One wobbles, falls and chases the orange. It makes quite a noise for a can of beans. I look up. The security man is stood there. He looks grumpy. I smile. I give him the orange and then the can of beans.

I see the nice assistant again. My new friend. She picks me up. I take the orange back from the security man. He can keep the beans. It might make him happy. Beans means fun. The assistant takes me to see the customer service people. I always like to see them before I go home. I don’t know how she knew.

“I see Anna is here again” the manager says. All my friends in one place. Then I hear my name over the speaker. “Will Anna’s mum please collect her again?”

M arrives with the shopping. Her cheeks are red. She keeps on saying sorry. I don’t know what she’s done but it must be bad. I leave with her and turn and wave to the staff. I smile at the security man. As I go, a smile crosses his face. M and I head home. Both happy after another good shop.

LittleJohn's big day - M the God-mother

It was Little John’s big day. I was invited. I am his special friend. The rest of the family tagged along. M said she was God. She hasn’t mentioned it before. I don’t think she is. Unless she works part-time. When God goes shopping or reads a book.

M put on a smart outfit. I didn’t think it was very godly but I didn’t say anything. She washed her hair. God used anti-dandruff shampoo.

We went to a church. There were lots of colourful paintings on the wall. They looked expensive. There were rows of wooden benches with a padded plank in front of them. They should have spent more on the seating and less on the pictures. There were funny windows. You couldn’t see through them. Someone had coloured them in. There were a few crosses at the front. Emma asked if I could see the noughts but they were hiding from me.

The church was full. Either they were paid to come or there was lunch afterwards.

I was the only toddler, except for Little John. Maybe only two toddlers are allowed in at a time. Like at the newsagents.

Little John was at the front. Having a snooze in his mother’s arms. He was wearing a blue outfit which looked good. But it was a touch tight around his tummy. He needs to dance a bit more and eat a bit less. His hair was longer. It was blonde. He must have been left out in the sun. He looked like his dad. Poor Little John.

The service started. M went to the front with some other people. They all looked smart. Maybe they knew they were in the presence of God. M smiled. Someone said M was a good-mother. I don’t think so.

Little John just slept. There was a man in a black dress. He spoke a lot. Mainly about Little John. I was surprised. Little John is only small and there’s not much to say about him. He doesn’t even dance. But the dress man kept talking.

After his talk, the dress man made a cross sign on Little John’s forehead. Little John snored a bit louder. He was then wrapped in a shawl. He must have been cold. He snored again.

Then the man got some water from a bowl. I don’t know what he was playing at but he poured it over Little John’s head. I was surprised by Little John’s dad. He saw what the man was doing and did nothing. I was on my way to complain but D stopped me. Amazingly Little John didn’t mind. The water woke him up. He looked at the man in the dress. I could see him thinking “why are you pouring water on my head”, why are all these people here, never mind lunch soon”. He rolled over and went back to sleep.

The service went on a bit. I walked along the plank. There was someone kneeling on it which was a bit annoying. They soon moved. I didn’t fall off the plank. Except once, when I knocked the hymn book on the floor. It can’t have made much noise as it didn’t wake Little John. There were some children sat in front of me. I poked them in the back. They looked round and scowled at me. I smiled back. They scowled some more. Some children are no fun.

I went looking for friendlier faces. I headed down the aisle towards the back of church. There was another dress at the back near the door. I went back to my seat.

Then the singing started. There was only one song. I couldn’t find a hymn book. D had one so I took his. The others had nearly finished by the time I started singing. I over-ran the end. By quite a bit. I’d started so I’d finish. But the dress man was looking at me. So I only sang a few lines more. And the odd little bit, later when he wasn’t looking.

The service was over. Little John woke up. He must have known it was time for lunch. We all headed off. Back to Little John’s house for lunch. There was food and drink.

The dress man came. He sat in the corner drinking wine. I saw the children I had poked. They had warmed up and were much more fun. They were running around and screaming. They had leant their mum their scowling faces.

Someone asked M if she was a god-mother. She said she was. I am very confused. How can she be God and God’s mother. If she is God’s mother, Edward may be God. I don’t think so.

Little John’s Dad said he wanted to say a few words. People wanted him to say a few words. He said more than a few words. He cried a bit which made the speech longer. I don’t know why he cried. I didn’t see anyone poke him. He said he was proud of Little John. He should be proud of him. Little John can snore really well and his clothes nearly fit. He may even learn to dance one day.

A bit later people started to leave. The scowling woman left with her poked children. We left the dress man asleep in a corner, snoring with Little John. M took us home. She looked tired. It must be hard work being God.

Morning time

D was covering his face with white foam. He does it every morning. He was in the bathroom wearing his pyjamas. I was dressed and ready to go. I went next door and got his watch. I took it to him. I handed it up to him. He thanked me. I went next door again and got his shoe. It was a brown shoe. I took it to him. He looked puzzled. I put it on the floor. I went next door again. I got his other shoe. It was a black shoe. I took it to him. D cleaned the foam from his face. He didn’t put his shoes on. Maybe he was staying in.

I went back into my bedroom. I saw the Amazing Mr Wobble. He wobbles but never falls down. He was sat there as usual. I walloped him. He wobbled but didn’t fall down.

I went downstairs and went outside. Biscuit was out there. I shouted doggy, doggy. She didn’t come. I don’t know why. I thought she liked having her tail pulled.

I went to the chickens. I lifted the flap on the nesting box. There was a chicken sat there. She soon moved when I reached in. She left an egg behind. It was hot. Freshly cooked. I didn’t have my egg cup with me but I started to peel it. It hadn’t boiled for long enough. It was all runny. It went on my fingers. And then on my dungarees.

I went back inside. D was dressed, ready for work. He had his suit on. He wasn’t wearing the shoes I brought for him. I was a bit upset but didn’t say anything. I went to give him a hug goodbye. I put my arms round his leg. I squeezed. “Bye bye” I said. I waved to him as he left. The back of his suit trousers were yellow like my dungarees. D will be pleased that we have matching trousrs.