Le Tour de France

G and I like Le Tour. He watches it every day. I watch it now and again. If I can’t play with the onions.

The tour visits lots of countries. France is too small to have the whole race. It started in London. I don't think the Queen went. She was too busy with the BBC. The tour also went to Belgium. But not for long. There’s not much to do in Belgium. I’m not sure if the race is going to Spain (or Burkina Faso). You can’t go everywhere on a three week trip.

The race goes all over France. It starts at the top, goes down the bottom and back to the top. They should miss out the bottom bit where the big bumps are. I don’t know why they don’t miss out the middle bit as well. It would be much quicker.

The race is on for 3 weeks. D says it gives the French something to watch while at work. It looks the same every day. Except sometimes they throw in a hill to make it seem hard. Or a crash to make it seem exciting. Or another town so it looks like they go to different places.

There are lots of teams. G says they come from all over the world. The Discovery Channel comes from America. I don’t know what the Americans watch while the Channel is in France. They have won in the past. Mr Armstrong won. It was not surprising. If you can walk on the moon you can win cycle races.

The French let other people win. They are good like that. The Americans would be upset if they didn’t win now and again. Having spent so much money on the air fare. The French are a bit too kind. They always let others win.

There are lots of teams. I like credit agricole. They have a nice green and white top. T-mobile wear my shade of pink. I like some riders. Pereiro has a nice name. And Rasmussen. He wins sometimes. Even though he has an ugly jumper. There are some British riders. They help make up the numbers.

G saw the tour last year. He was on holiday. It went past his house. He waited for hours. Then loads of cars, bikes and police raced past. Lots of sound. Lots of noise. Lots of gifts: key-rings, hats and pens. Then the bikes arrived. Helmets passed by. Whish. Then gone. Everyone went home. G said the tour was very dangerous. He got hit by a flying key ring.

G wants to ride the tour. M is keen. He’ll be away for 3 weeks. I don’t think he would like it. Cycling for days. No cake stops. No eating ice creams. No “I think I’ll just stop for a little while”. G couldn’t ride this year. He says it’s a drug free tour. He had calpol a few days ago.

I like watching the race. It makes me want to cycle more. I always bring M when I cycle. I have a seat on the back of her bike. She does some of the work. But I do my bit. Balancing and sleeping is not easy.

The end of the race is the best. In the last few yards, the big people begin to try. They pedal very fast. They nearly crash. One of them wins. They look pleased. They forget it’s only a cycle race. Mind you if they win they might get the polka dot jumper. Even I would cycle for that. I wouldn’t want the yellow jumper. It doesn’t have spots.